CHICAGO –  It’s been awhile since my last post, and I have lots of technology things to catch my followers up on!

Let’s talk TV.

Like many of you I’ve watched in dismay as my cable TV bill has crept up and up.  First the taxes, then the cost to rent the box from my provider, than the inevitable end of my “special rate” and the hour long call to trim costs which end up causing me to sign-up for a phone or other services I don’t want just so I can get some discounted bundle.

Enough!

About a year ago I decided to explore something new.  No first of all, I want to be clear. I think TV should be watched the old fashioned way; sitting on the couch, popcorn falling on the floor, dogs starting at you to give you “the hint” while you mindless flip through channels.

I don’t buy into an app for one channel, and another app for another, and another for movies that are new, and another to rent movies that are old.  That all requires too much thinking…. too much action.  And after all, TV, if anything, is a non-action sport!

So my first try was with a service called Layer3 TV. Picture cable TV sans cable. Basically these guys install a cable box that works over the internet (IPTV for those technical folks in the audience). Fine idea, painfully executed. The installer was here for about 4 hours.  Really nice guy, took him that long to translate to me (largely through sign language) that the box required a DHCP server and my cable modem wasn’t set that way.  That’s because I have a real network. A man’s network.  With a FIREWALL.  Unfortunately Layer3 TV requires Comcast.  And not the piddly 15mg connection I ordered (per Layer3 TV’s customer service department) but a blazing 50mg or better.

Since my Firewall was serving up a different carrier we ended up taking an old wifi router and setting it up. Baam. Finally. TV. And a cable strung out down the hall to my telephone closet (but I fixed that after the guy left and I could reverse engineer what the connection was looking for).  Too much work for ordinary volken.

However pretty cool too if I might say.  Resembled basically every other cable TV provider except a few extra bells and whistles.  You could download YouTube videos and watch them (of course you had to use the clicker to p-a-i-n-f-u-l-l-y—s-l-o-w-l-y spell each title out…I think I tried it all of once) and also could look at an endless twitter feed of …. well whatever was hottest in the twitter world.

The service was about the same cost as cable but…. NO TAXES (because it’s not cable, get it??).  As the months went by I started to feel some of the pain of being on the bleeding edge.  After all, TV time is DUMB time.  I don’t want to put on my little technician’s hat to find the news.  Updates brought new features and stability, but also an extremely annoying tendency to get stuck while fast forwarding and then hitting the end of the recording and starting over, causing minutes of fast forwarding and rewinding to figure out where I had left off (all the while already now knowing the ending of whatever I was watching) — and me almost letting sail the remote control towards said new television service box.

Enough.  There has to be a better way.

Alas, unlike the Millennials I just don’t have it in me to pick a show and find it on an app. I WANT TO SURF.

Just in time to save the day a bunch of new cut-the-cord services are appearing.  Direct(ionless)TV, Hulu TV, Sling(Slang)TV and the like promise to deliver a cable TV like experience without the cord.

But, alas, they fail!  I don’t want to learn a new interface (see earlier in my article). I want to be a far, dumb, popcorn-consuming, series-watching, drool-stupid TV watcher.  Don’t try and make me think!

DirectTV had a horrible premier of technical glitches and Hulu TV while fairly decent hasn’t rolled out to many “devices”. The last thing I want is an app that runs on a device like my tablet that I now have to run another app on top of to “cast” to my TV.

Why can’t I just have my TV on my FireTV or AppleTV or Roku?  These are devices that good or bad have been around for years, are very stable and just work.

In comes PlayStation Vue.  I know, right, who wants to buy a PlayStation just to watch TV. But (wait for it)…. Playstation Vue is actually an app.  It can run on Playstation, or on an Android tablet or FireTV or Roku.

And unlike all of the competitors, the cut-the-cord-products, the let-me-learn-what-you-like-netflixers, it actually has A TV GUIDE.

For $40/month I get all my local stations and most of my non-local. HGTV (so I can see everyone living better than me), SciFi (so I can see everyone getting blown up in spectacular ways) and CNN (which kind of ties the two back together again).  Setting up recordings is as easy as saying as show is my “favorite” and most importantly…. I have a remote control and a guide to surf the airwaves.

Ahhh Nirvana. The cord has been cut,  and yet I am fulfilled.

So here’s my wrap:

PlayStation VUE (on FireTV): Better than Layer3 TV, Hulu TV, SlingTV, standalone apps (like ABC, CBS, NBC), ChromeCast, Roku and Amazon’s prime … simply the most TV like non-TV experience.

PLUS

• Basic $40 package has pretty much all the basic channels
  You can stream on multiple devices at once (TV in the bathroom on your tablet, anyone?)
• Sensible, normal interface (they’re not trying to change everything we’re used too)
• Great fast forward (traditional fast forward, or click the ring on your FireTV and each click is 10 seconds — you learn pretty quick how many clicks to get past the commercial break)
• Quality — pretty high def, though we can argue that one on another article.
• Smooth Streaming – through I’m new to this particular app, seems to work seamlessly

SUBTRACTS

• Sports, HBO, Cinemax and other packages can add up really quickly and aren’t much cheaper than cable
• Some channels are missing — if you have a specific channel you love that’s specific like BET, Nickelodeon, Logo you might not see it.  Or if you see it, it might be subject to annual renegotiation.
• Activation — a little more painful then it should be.  Didn’t think I was in the U.S. when I signed up for the free trial (the trick was to log back into my account, complete the setup with my address then go back and re-try the free trial).
• Less than seamless install on mobile devices (due to licensing constraints, and some channels simply can’t be watched on tablets — you’ll have to find which the hard way)
• Doesn’t appear to support Dolby output (just stereo) — however in fairness, most house rocking movies are going to be rentals (albeit digital ones)
• And while I haven’t experienced it, technical support from Sony is supposed to be a somewhat dismal experience making your local cable provider look like a star

Hope this helps!  Feel free to let me know your most economical way of watching “the tube” so we can continue to compare notes.